ECT. aka, Electro Convulsive Therapy. My lifesaver. Maybe the only reason besides my kids that I’m still here today. Here, and relatively happy. I tried everything else. Dozens of meds – every possible combination – but if there was a nasty side-effect to a pill, I would experience it. Weight gain (why never weight loss?), rashes, hair falling out, insomnia (the worst is the insomnia), restlessness, uncontrollable crying, nausea and tremors. The side effects for the oral meds were awful, so I tried alternative treatments: hypnotherapy, acupuncture, acupressure, massage therapy. Sadly, insurance doesn’t cover those. Even more sadly, none of them helped. I’ll get into my life prior to starting ECT in other posts, but let’s just agree it wasn’t pretty. And I was losing my family. My children were scared of me. My husband was scared for me. And I was miserable. Miserable to be around, miserable in my existence. I had been offered the option of ECT by three psychiatrists and four therapists over the course of three years. I usually emphatically insisted “NO!” before the suggestion was even out of their mouths. It scared the shit out of me. Truthfully, it still does. But ECT is the reason I’m still here. ECT helped me get back on track. It saved my life. I wish I could say it saved my marriage, but that’s for another entry, as well. I could describe what it’s like to experience ECT, from start to finish. Is that something people want to hear about? Prior to my first treatment, I went online hoping to read someone’s description of the process, thinking it might settle my nerves a little. What I was able to find was scarier than I thought necessary to share with prospective patients. I was hoping for a less graphic description. Let me know if you’d like to hear about my experience. I’m happy to tone it down a bit. I’m not looking to frighten anyone, although to claim the procedure is not in many ways scary would be a lie. But if you’d like to know what to expect from someone who has now been voluntarily electrocuted nearly 40 times, drop me a line and I’ll share my experience with you.